All of Me……

Have you ever wondered to yourself if giving 100% to something you believe in is ever worth it? Even if it means passing the safety limits of prudence? 

Lately I have gotten well meaning friends tell me that in whatever we pursue, we should not commit all of us into said pursuit lest we be take advantage of or fail. That way we still have some “back up” of sorts.

Specifically this advice was given to me with regards to relationships.

To be real honest, while I appreciate the practicality of this advice, I don’t think I ever found it relevant in the way I entered my relationship with her. 

This is in large part due to the fact that I always believed in giving my significant other nothing but total commitment as isn’t a real relationship built on efforts and a willingness to go through what it takes to make it happen?

I always believed that loving another isn’t so much of an epiphany but more so a decision made to do so. Correct me if I am wrong as perhaps I was too dense to ever received such a eureka! moment. 🤣

Seriously, when I love someone else, I am giving them the proverbial key to my heart of which I have no fears in doing so because:

  1. I trust her.
  2. It’s also my way of demonstrating my love to her. 

So by entrusting her, she can choose to either build me up or completely tear me down. The choice is hers to make and, I choose to trust that she will always choose the former.

To the outsider, this might seem like a huge gamble but isn’t life a gamble to begin with?

I fondly remember the words of Inazo Nitobe, author of Bushid who said : “Beneath the instinct to fight there lurks a diviner instinct to love.” 

Therefore with love, I am most willing to take this gamble because even if all else fails, I can at least look deep into my reflection in the mirror and say that inasmuch as I am a Martial Artist, I too am a lover who above it all, is blessed to have the courage to be able to love as hard as he fights…..

I fell in love with you the second our eyes met…

The Ground Is My Ocean…

“I am a shark, the ground is my ocean, and most people can’t even swim.”

— Master Rickson Gracie
I wonder how many of us here go through life constantly dealing with thoughts of worthlessness, feelings of desolation, inadequacy…..weak?
Let me be the first to that say I do.
I used to not know how to deal with these negativity and I turned to bitterness and anger as some sort of quick but temporal fix and this lead to me having strained relationships with those around me, family and friends alike. 

I was not in a good place.
That is why I am so glad to make that decision in 2013 to put on the gi for the first time in my life and took my very first Jiu Jitsu class.

The lessons that Jiu Jitsu has taught me were invaluable. Amongst many I find the following to be most significant:
I’ve learnt humility in knowing no one is spared from the throes of life’s trials and thus I should stop feeling sorry for myself. 

I also learnt that a focused mind is more important that a strong body for he who is focused knows how to stay the course to his own person development.
And one of the most important lesson I have learnt is to develop a sense of self worth because we all  have our own battles to fight and losing is not a dent in our value but getting up each time we fall adds to it.
Thus I count myself blessed to have the opportunities to walk this thousand mile road.
That’s why these days whenever I find myself wrestling against the demons in my mind, I put on my gi, tie my belt and step onto the sacred mats and train.
Because,

The ground is my ocean……

“Step by step, walk the thousand mile road.”

Of Raging Tides and Destiny

You wanna know how I did it? This is how I did it Anton: I never saved anything for the swim back.”  –Vincent Freeman

The above quote was taken from the 1997 Science Fiction movie Gattaca, where Vincent Freeman, a natural born man said to his genetically designed younger brother to see who will give up first in a swim challenge out in open sea.
For those of you are unfamiliar with the movie, Gattaca is set in a future where the destinies of the people living in this future is largely determined by the makeup of their genetic structure, designed way before they were even conceived.

It tells the story if one Vincent Freeman who is a natural-born man who assumes the identity of a genetically designed one in order to achieve his dream of becoming an astronaut. 

Personally I find such a utopic future to be utterly dystopic actually.  

But I digress.

I have always found the dialogue in the swimming scene to be very powerful and memorable. It serves to remind us that despite all the inherent imperfections that we might have ir inherited from birth, we first need to have that sort of indomitable sense of self and purpose before we can even embark on our own personal routes to success.

After all Isn’t life some sort of swim against the raging tides with the far shore being our very own destiny? 

Am I going to give everything I got to reach the shores of my destiny? 

All I know is that at this stage of my life I do not have the luxury of choice thus to press on I shall.

P.S. As for us, I am giving it all to make sure we reach the far end shores together side by side, with your hand in mine.

I never saved anything for the swim back.”  -Vincent Freeman

Our Song….

If You’re Not the One – Daniel Bedingfield

Lyrics

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings,
But I know you are here with me now,
We’ll make it through,
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand,

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away,
But I know that this much is true,
We’ll make it through,
And I hope you are the one I share my life with,
And I wish that you could be the one I die with,
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with,
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it , I don’t understand,
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away,
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today,
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right,
And though I can’t be with you tonight,
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it,
I don’t understand,
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way I can stay in your arms?

Songwriters: Daniel Bedingfield

If You’re Not the One lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

2017-08-28-22-25-10
Amidst the beauty of it all, you are the only One for me.

Fantastic Sunday 

It was a slow start to my Sunday. Despite our initial plans to go watch the McGregor Mayweather fight at McGettigans CQ, it was decided that brunch at The Book Cafe would be a better date option for the both of us.

So after picking her up, we both went down to the Book Cafe and had our brunch. I had the Emmenthal Omelette while she had the Eggs Royale along with a cup of mocha!

An Egg-Cellent Brunch

Then next up we decide to go watch The Hitman’s Body Guard starring Samuel L Jackson and Ryan Reynolds, it was an alright movie all in all with hilarious dialogues from both actors but truth be known, it doesn’t really have memorable moments.

Next up we actually went all the way back to China Street for a Steamboat dinner!!!!!

I thought to myself this day could not be any better but it actually did!

After our filling dinner, she asked if I wanted to walk around Bayfront area to walk off the food we just had.

Sure! Anything to spend more time with you.

Waking around the area, we managed to catch sight of the lights display from Marina Bay Sands, and that awwsome display really made the entire skyline light up with life. Personally I could not have asked for anyone else to be by my side now but her. 😊

Skyline at night

I guess I must have did something right in this lifetime to have someone so awesome like her to call mine.

P.S. She just reminded me that today is actually 七夕節

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qixi_Festival

Give me this day my daily grind….

Saturday, 26 Aug 2017. Started this attempt at blog writing as I was inspired to do so by her.

I was thinking hard what to write for my first blog entry and guess writing about how my day went would be the best way to start, doesnt require me to crack my head in a bid to squeeze some thing out from the creative department.

So I went down to Pomo today for the afternoon Jiu Jitsu Randori class and I also hoped to go for the Warrior Fit class that’s up immediately after. Since she was out with her friends today, I have the entire Saturday for myself so why not? It has also been a while that I did such a back to back class anyway.

Randori was great and excruciating tough as usual, having being paired up against some of the stronger and more athletic fighters in the class 😂

Won some, lost some.

And when the timer finally buzzed for the last round of the session, I decided to do Warrior Fit.

Coach Jason had us go through his Storm Shadow routine and from the whiteboard list, it looked rather do-able but heh, it was only when we atrempted the routine itself then we all knew why he wrote “Try for 4 sets.

And that whole Burn Out session he made us go through at the last 10 minutes of class….

All in all it was a day well spent as I didn’t had the strength to do anything else but go home for some rest and recovery.

Well tomorrow is going to be even better as I am going to spend the whole day with her, Yay!!!

Storm Shadow Routine